What is really funny about this is that it didn’t matter to those paranoid about chicken manure how many big dogs loped through their backyards, shitting and pissing all the way. Dogs and cats are part of modern culture, even if they produce twice as much manure as a hen. Thinking about dogs and cats made me realize, with a little research, how god-awful amounts of pet manure were literally going to waste in this country. So I started writing. When I did, I realized how much I knew about manure. How pitiful for a man to reach his majority, as they say, with nothing else to brag about except a keen knowledge of shit.