10 Feb '12, 3pm

Congressman thinks oil pipeline will help caribou get laid

Congressman thinks oil pipeline will help caribou get laid

Foolish enviros might think that oil pipelines are bad for wildlife, what with the habitat-destroying and whatnot. But Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert (Texas) is an expert on ungulate romance, and he knows the score : Oil pipelines are the caribou equivalent of a hotel room with a heart-shaped bed, a champagne glass-shaped hot tub, and a Charles Koch-shaped semen stain on the bedspread. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues. It’s apparently the equivalent of being wined and dined. And that has resulted in a tenfold caribou population boom, he concluded. Even Rep. Don Young (R), who loves oil pipelines like a caribou loves other caribou — and who is actually from Alaska, where there are caribou, and not Texas, where th...

Full article: http://grist.org/list/congressman-thinks-oil-pipelin-will...

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